Top Ten... Hale Yeah

Published on April 23rd, 2013 | by Hale Yeah

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Hale Yeah

Top Ten Rejected New WFTDA Minimum Skills

10. Being able to juke through a crowd to get to the bathroom 2 minutes before gear check.

9. 27 in 5. Read through 27 message board posts for a committee meeting you’re having 5 minutes from now.

8. Solely by lifting up your derby bag, know exactly what piece of equipment is missing from it.

7. During a long official review, get at least half of your team and at least one opponent dancing at the jammer line.

6. Must be able to plow stop so well that ice shavings fly off of your wheels.

5. Know the rules forwards and backwards, as in “position relative lose to opponent the cause not does but, sideways or/and, forward, balance off skater opposing receiving the forces that opponent an of back the to contact Any – 1.1.6″

4. Show that you can fall small enough that you fit within a shoebox.

3. Have a 3-minute conversation with your derby hero without hyperventilating, shaking, or exploding into a million tiny pieces.

2. Skating backwards while doing crossovers and the NY Times Crossword Puzzle.

1. Explain the new ranking mathematics without using a calculator, abacus, or that really smart person on your team.

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