Top Ten... Hale Yeah

Published on March 28th, 2013 | by Hale Yeah


Hale Yeah

Top Ten April Fools’ Jokes for Roller Derby Refs

10. Call a minor.

9. Tell skaters due to the new rules, you can now only use inline skates.

8. Talk about the pack only in the metric system.

7. Instead of wearing black and white uniforms, pull out your white and black ones!

6. After every ref huddle, come back to a player, smile all-too-wide, and say you weren’t talking about them. Giggle a bit.

5. Don’t talk with the other refs during a bout, communicate only by a complex series of whistling. Act normal.

4. Tape down an “on ramp” and “off ramp” for the penalty box. Penalize anyone who doesn’t use their
blinker when getting off the track.

3. Wear pants.

2. Pretend to blow the whistle to start the jam. Mouth the words “Why aren’t you skating already?” Look confused.

1. At halftime, talk to captains explaining your dismay that there wasn’t enough hair-pulling and fake fights in the first half.

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