Top Ten... Hale Yeah

Published on January 4th, 2013 | by Hale Yeah

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Hale Yeah

Top Ten Lines Derby Skaters Would Like in President Obama’s 2013 Inauguration

10. “How about that 6th place in the East DC Rollergirls?”

9. “It is time for everyone to start reaching across the aisle, from Republicans and Democrats to WFTDA, MRDA, MADE, Old Skool, and Renegade…”

8. “I will put the full backing of our scientists and engineers into the discovery of an affordable banked track that with a push of a button can turn into a flat track.”

7. “It took four long years, but I am glad WFTDA finally got on board with my ‘change’ platform and went to one whistle.”

6. “I look forward to welcoming the World Champion Gotham Girls to the White House later this year, and playing one-on-one basketball against Sexy Slaydie.”

5. “Given the efforts to drive the economy and their pursuits in charity work, the Roller Derby Tax Credit just makes good sense.”

4. “We must work together to build the future we deserve. That said, I still cannot guarantee a 51st state called Rollerderbia.”

3. “We are committed to our NASA program, and we will continue exploring the far reaches of space for intelligent life … and more rink space.”

2. “I can now confirm we have the votes to push forward the new subsection of our healthcare plan: Rollbama Care.”

1. “It is way too cold out here to talk for long – see everyone at the after party!”

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