Top Ten... Hale Yeah

Published on November 16th, 2012 | by Hale Yeah


Hale Yeah

Top Ten Reasons Jr. Roller Derby is Better than Regular Roller Derby

10. You don’t have to yell “Get lower” to a girl who is 3’8″.

9. Understanding their lifestyle will affect their gameplay, they have all agreed not to drink alcohol for another 5-12 years.

8. Any “Hello Kitty” accouterments actually are age-appropriate!

7. Star-passes are encouraged as a way of promoting sharing.

6. There is nothing like seeing a ref’s will tested when a 9-year old gives ’em “big eyes” in order to try to get out of a penalty.

5. Skaters will hi-5 the audience at game’s end for as many laps around the track as you’ll stand there for. (True story.)

4. While no skater has been found to use Human Growth Hormones, in-game growth spurts may cause a skater’s height to change 3-5 inches.

3. Admit it: you wish your after-parties had ice cream cake, too.*

2. The term “satellite player” refers to a skater who lives two towns over.

1. The average derby career has now been lengthened to 18-23 years long.

* “3” was taken directly from a conversation with Manish Gosalia. Credit where credit is due!

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