Published on November 23rd, 2012 | by Hale Yeah0
Top Ten Reasons Derby Skaters Are Best Equipped to Handle Black Friday
10. Derby skaters are used to packs of people wanting to knock them over.
9. The “bean dip” was originally invented to grab items on a low shelf and scoot away unscathed.
8. Gee, staying out late? Yes, I believe that is in a derby skater’s wheelhouse.
7. Analyzing the shifting and ever changing nature of a pack is the perfect exercise for surveying which checkout line will be fastest.
6. With how many vegetarian and vegan derby skaters there are out there: no worries about tryptophan comas!
5. They’re the only ones smart enough to be wearing a full complement of pads to the stores.
4. Without any referees at the stores, skaters shopping in groups can form multiplayer blocks around sale items for as long as they want!
3. Derby skaters can be as aggressive as they need without worrying about being put on the “naughty” list… Santa knows skaters are either put on the “nice” list …or else! [cracks knuckles]
2. Most derby skaters view a crowded store as just another version of “Queen of the Rink”/”Blood & Thunder”.
1. Getting the best sales on gifts for friends and family is a MUST when you have your eyes set on getting a new pair of skates next year!
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