World Derby Travels Rawk by Masonite Burn

Published on December 14th, 2011 | by Eric RAWK


Rawk by Masonite Burn

RAWK City: World Tour, Part I

I’ve been all over the place the past 60 days; something like 16 flights. Shit, I’m writing this on a flight back to Seattle. But it was the 2011 WFTDA Western Regional Tournament in Portland, OR, hosted by the Rose City Rollers, that kicked it all off; and I drove there with Tootie Tinwhistle, Curtis E Lay and Chris Shooter. For those of you that only know some or none of those dudes and thus can’t picture what this car ride was like, there were a lot of laughs, due to both childish and somewhat sophisticated humor, quite a bit of discussion about where we needed to eat while we were in Portland, some catching up and getting-to-know-you-better stories and a touch of venom spitting regarding subjects I won’t mention.

A good friend told me if I expect to get things fixed/changed I need to run my mouth a bit less about my frustrations and work on solutions, so besides the 2011 WFTDA South Central Regional Tournament in Kansas City I’m going to keep my talk about the 2011 WFTDA Regional Tournaments very brief. Actually I’m going to try to keep it as brief as this.

I fuckin love Kansas City so I was amped to be going out that way for the 2011 WFTDA South Central Regional Tournament. The Kansas City Roller Warriors were hosting and it was at a venue I knew well. Clockwork had already taken me on the tour across the scaffolding in the ceiling and out onto the roof (“refs on the roof!”) when I was out there a few years ago for KC vs Charm City.

This tournament provided 2 surprises and 1 staple. The staple is an easy guess, BBQ. KC has my favorite BBQ and my homie Rachel Rotten came through huge. She stayed near my favorite BBQ place in KC, Oklahoma Joe’s, and took enormous lunch orders each day. Both lunches were phenomenal as always. I also wanted to give the fancier BBQ joint, Jack Stack, another shot despite being disappointed by them on my first visit to KC a bunch of years back. KC native and one of my favorite hip hop dudes, Mac Lethal, regularly sings their praises so I took his advice and got down on the Crown Prime Beef Ribs. They were outFUCKINstanding!! Me and Jack Stack will be getting down again.

The 2 surprises were kickass DJ Motley Cruz (not to be confused with derby’s Motley Cruz) and the game play at the tourney. Almost every bout at SCs was highly contested and were straight-up battles. There were a good amount of upsets and even a rematch in the loser bracket finals between two teams that had bouted earlier in the tourny. But let’s get back to Cruz. Dude is ridiculous!! Yeah he didn’t spin/press play on a weak track, but what was clutch was that he dug out so many random tracks and every mashup was tight. What kinda random song am I talking about? The jam from the talent show scene in “Revenge of the Nerds.” Also shout to Gold Coast for having the best pre-bout dance parties/circle that I’ve ever seen.

I don’t even know how to sum up my UK trip as there was just so damn much!! I was out there to lead the officiating sections of clinics on back to back weekends. Other instructors included Betty Ford Galaxy, Bonnie D Stroir, Isabelle Ringer, Pitch-It, ReAnimateHer, Georgia W. Tush, Krissy Krash, Pia Mess, Swede Hurt and Urrk’n Jerkn. At first the 5 people listed above and I were staying in a mobile home in a vacation trailer park. Gems from the trailer park included an amusement park that was closed down for the winter, an assortment of animal shaped chairs including a cow and a black swan and some friendly ducks & birds. It had all the makings of some absurd reality show. It was a 20 minute walk just to get out of the park and the first full day there we ventured to the bus and out to Northampton city center, just over an hour voyage one way.

The actual clinics went well and I met a bunch of rad officials from around the UK, Wales and Amsterdam. I wrote new lessons for both the advanced and beginner clinics and was really happy with them. I only had to deviate slightly from my lesson plans to address what the attendees wanted to learn/know about as most information I had was already included. On the second day of each clinic we had a psychologist come in and talk. I gave him a topic that was relevant to my lessons and it worked out really well that he mostly reiterated what I’d already taught. I found it hella amusing how many British teacher/psychiatrist stereotypes that I’d seen in movies that he lived up to.

Whoever said British food isn’t good didn’t truly understand it. It’s totally comfort food. Baked beans with breakfast food is phenomenal. This was something I greatly doubted and always thought would be gross. Glad I’ve learned the truth. The ladies of Geek Girl took me, Mater and BFG out to dinner and for a bit of a tour of the area. I kind of feel like I won the ride to dinner as I rode with Mumsy in a teeny-tiny, not sold in the States Toyota and learned some historical facts & myths about the area, heard some interesting stories of her life and discovered we have similar taste in tea. At dinner that night I got a hot pot of blood pudding and lamb; which was phenomenal. We also checked out an indoor ski resort and went to an arcade, which didn’t have an pinball. The evening with Geek Girl was a fun break after the first clinic.

Between clinics I ran off to Amsterdam. I spent most of the time walking around the city, going to museums, visiting parks and wandering around the botanical gardens and butterfly house. It was really refreshing to be disconnected from the derby universe, especially the politics (bleh!), but what I enjoy the most was just some time to myself in a beautiful place that I could explore.

No time to get used to any time zone as I’m off to Australia. Hold onto your reproductive organs as the next RAWK City will be about a land that lives in the future!!!


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